Sermon 2019.02.10
Family Feud
(Galatians 5:25-6:5; sermon 2 of 4 in series “We Are Family”)

1. We are family.  For 2019, our church goal is connecting with our community. This year, we are getting to know our towns and neighborhoods in a deeper and more compassionate way. But we’re starting right here in the pews this month as we emphasize that we are family.

We are brothers and sisters in Christ, and we are a big family! In a church with almost 400 members and a lot more friends, and where 250 people show up any given Sunday, we can’t know everyone as well as we’d like. Last week we started playing “church family bingo,” learning new things about old friends, and new things about new friends. There are still bingo cards sprinkled around the church – if you fill one out completely and bring it to me, you win a piece of candy from the pastor’s candy bowl!

2. Family feud.  Nobody loves like family. But nobody fights like family either. Sometimes we fight because we have different talents. When I was a kid, my talent was that I had a sharper tongue and longer arms than my little brother. I’d say something to get him mad, and then I’d hold him at arms’ length so he couldn’t punch me. When we got older, his talent became projectile weapons. The day he chucked a claw hammer at me, both of us woke up and realized this wasn’t going to end well. Now we are both brothers and buddies.

Sometimes we fight with family because we have different opinions. Everybody has that weird uncle who is shows up at Thanksgiving, ready to argue politics, sports, or trucks from the other side of the room. My uncle has a beef with General Motors right now – don’t ask me why – and so he goes on and on (and on, and on!) about his new Dodge Ram. He doesn’t think much of my Honda.

3. Church kerfluffles.  So when we say church is family, we shouldn’t be surprised when church members get into fights and kerfluffles too. Again, sometimes it is about different gifts and talents – we envy or gossip or about people who cook differently, or share different leadership skills. Obviously, it’s more important to play in the bell choir than sing in the praise band. Or is it more important to sing in the praise band than play in the bell choir?

Sometimes we argue about opinions – what kind of music we like, what color of paint or carpet to install, how to read a difficult passage of scripture, whether we liked the pastor’s sermon. Oh, wait – everybody likes the pastor’s sermon… right?  

Believe it or not, I have heard people say unkind things at church! We emphasize that we love unconditionally, that all are welcome… and yet I have heard that people in our congregation have told others they don’t get to wear a nametag because they aren’t members, or that they shouldn’t take communion because they aren’t members. I have heard people argue that their gift or their group is the most important thing at church, putting others down.

Brothers and sisters, it should not be so! As Paul writes in Galatians, “If anyone thinks they are important when they aren't, they’re fooling themselves. Each person should test their own work and be happy with doing a good job and not compare themselves with others” (6:3-4).

This often boils down to arguing preference over purpose. We naturally have our preferences – a particular kind of music, or worship time, or mission project, or cookie. But the church also has a purpose. What does our mission statement say? We are here to make disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world.

When we put our preferences first – arguing for our kind of music, for instance – instead of our purpose – making new disciples – then we are harming the family of Christ. Sometimes churches have to do a new thing, sing a new kind of music, make changes, in order to reach new people. We always need to put our purpose of serving God ahead of our own preference. We are each called to do our best with our own gifts, and not to envy or judge others.

4. General Conference 2019.  Speaking of family feuds, The United Methodist Church is getting ready for a doozy right now. By now, you should be aware of General Conference 2019 coming up February 23-26 in St. Louis. This is a special called conference of the global church to discuss how we will include LGBTQ Christians in our denomination. We hope to resolve an issue we have fought over for almost 50 years.

Traditionalists prefer a plan which emphasizes that although we love and welcome all people, I quote, “The practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching.” Under the traditional plan, the church will not conduct same-sex marriages or ordain LGBTQ clergy who are married to their partner. They insist that all churches, clergy, conferences, and bishops pledge to uphold this stance or leave the denomination.

Centrists are urging the One Church plan, which the Council of Bishops has endorsed, which allows for difference of opinion on this subject. No churches or pastors would be prohibited from conducting same-sex weddings, and no churches or pastors would be forced to conduct same-sex weddings. 

Progressives are promoting what they call the Simple Plan, which removes all language from our guiding Book of Discipline condemning LGBTQ people.

This issue has the potential to split the denomination. We are fighting like family. I just had correspondence yesterday with a young man in Pennsylvania who invited me to talk with him about the issue. After hearing that I am in favor of the One Church plan, he wrote back: 

“You in your ‘love’ have led these individuals into believing that their lifestyle is holy and pleasing to God. How dare you sir. You condemnation will be far worse than that of any homosexual… You sir must turn from your biased, world pleasing ways. The world needs love, yes, but what it doesn't need is sorry excuses for ministers who look like everyone else who walks the earth. I hope you heed these words before you have to stand face to face with the God you are poorly representing.”

He signed his email, “Said in love… Eric.” I’m not sure he meant it.  Somehow his rhetoric sounds more like a clanging gong or clashing cymbal.

5. Loving, praying, living.  There are faithful people on both sides of the LGBTQ issue who read the bible carefully and try faithfully to understand it. In our own congregation, we have many people who have participated in several discussions trying to understand each other. I’m happy to say that so far none of us have consigned the other to the devil! 

For my family, this is personal. Anna-Lisa has two sisters. The youngest sister is married to a conservative Missouri Synod Lutheran pastor. The middle sister is a pastor in the progressive Metropolitan Community Church and is married to a woman. There were several years the two sisters would not talk to each other – only to Anna-Lisa and I, the Methodist middle. I’m happy to say that more recently, they have agreed to disagree, and to love each other as family. In fact, in a month, all three are gathering in Colorado for some beloved sister time.

In Matthew 18:15-18, Jesus lays out a process for resolving conflict in the church. Instead of gossiping about each other, we talk to each other. If we have a conflict with someone, we try to resolve it personally. If that doesn’t work we involve some mutual friends. Jesus says if we can’t resolve our conflicts to treat the offender like a Gentile or tax collector… That sound harsh until we remember – who did Jesus reach out to? … Yup: Gentiles and tax collectors.

The Methodist Church has a long tradition of being a big tent, a broad middle way where people who love Jesus have found a way to love one another, even if they disagree on doctrine and theology and practice. John Wesley, the founder of our denomination, preached a sermon called “On a Catholic [or universal] Spirit,” in which he said, “Though we cannot think alike, may we not love alike? May we not be of one heart, though we are not of one opinion? Without doubt, we may… If your heart is as my heart, then give me your hand.”

Friends, we are brothers and sisters. We are family. And so we shouldn’t be surprised if we fight like family. But we must always remember to love one another, even when we disagree. “If we live by the Spirit, let's follow the Spirit. Let's not become arrogant, make each other angry, or be jealous of each other” (Galatians 5:25-26). Be gentle with one another. Love one another. Pray for one another. Live with one another. 

Remember, Jesus loved everyone. The world will know we follow Jesus if we love one another.   

- Amen.
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Note: I will be hosting another Q&A on General Conference February 20 at 6:30pm, including a time of prayer. All United Methodists are invited to pray for the Holy Spirit to lead us in wisdom and discernment in the weeks to come – see the insert in the bulletin.